Rapture Sucks
by detrametal
Summary: One particularly interesting day pits the most sane splicer in Rapture against the city as he's forced to guide the who's who of this forsaken city to where ever they want "And on the right you'll see a dead splicer. And on the left another!" I hope his sarcasm and comments amuse you, rated T for language


Rapture sucks, AKA My Day in Rapture

It wouldn't be rude to call me insane…actually that about sums it up. I may not look like the others only because I didn't futz around with that stupid crap too much. Yeah, I'm a splicer. Kinda, I look normal, what can I say, I was too poor to get more than three shots of the stuff ever. Guess I'm lucky like that, the other people got all fucked up and here I am slightly alright.

I still have my brain…and I'm making a fortune off these idiots. I live down near one of the larger holes in Rapture, at some point an explosion went off in the floor and now I have a direct link to the sea. And that's how I make my money, I fish and sell what I catch, three for fresh caught and five for caught and roasted, seasoned lightly with salt and stuffed with a few different ingredients I manage to pull out of the water on a semi-regular basis. Eh, it makes me money and they don't kill me.

Once in a while I have a Big Daddy or Big Sister come down and buy some, and let me tell you those are the moments I really don't like, I'm paranoid as it is and when they come down I feel every inch of my stomach fill with bile and I always spend a few moments after puking into a toilet. Yeah, great, I know. This is my life in Rapture…at least I'm not dead and the instant I get to the surface I'll be a rich-ass motherfucker!

Slowly the bathysphere dinged and I pulled out my fishing pole and scrambled for my hiding place, like I always did. I'm a coward so sue me, but I'm still alive. Hiding in one of the air duct tube that lined the area I waited, nothing. I peaked out a bit before I was forcibly ripped from the tube with an undignified yelp and was held to a wall while a drill hovered above my throat. I almost needed new shorts. Almost. "Jonny, don't terrify the man!" and the big daddy put me down and I rushed to check my pole, hell, this thing was my only way of living in this godforsaken city, of course I'mma check the thing!

Slowly I realized that there were several people staring at me, uhh…this isn't good. There was a big daddy, a Big sister, two men in suites and a lady in a dress. I stared "W-what do you want?!" okay, pause a moment. I'd like to get this out of the way now and not deal with it later. I'm easy to scare to begin with, add paranoia and living in Rapture…I think you get the point.

I recognized the man when he held out his hand. The chain tattoo was a dead give away. This was Jack Ryan, but didn't he leave years ago? B-but that must mean…Delta, Eleanor and I heard about the ruckus in Minerva's Den…"Y-you must be Mr. Ryan" I said slowly as I shakily shook his hand. I didn't want to startle either the big daddy or his daughter who had the freakin' spear on her arm.

He nodded "Yes I am, and you are?"

At this point I wish I was shaking in my boots. I'm pathetic, I know "Y-you can c-call me the Fisherman…everyone else does"

The woman spoke and I realized it was the doctor. Oh, crap. This is the who's who of Rapture and I'm in the middle of it. "Zis man obviously has had ADAM at von point, vhat I cannot tell is how long it has been-"

"Two years, three months, fourteen days, nine hours, twenty-seven minutes and forty-two seconds" they looked at me again and in my head I proceeded to eat my boot while kicking myself in the head with the other. Their stares were getting a bit too much for me "W-what? I-I can't help it! I can't even get to a Big Daddy without dying and even if I did I couldn't hurt a Little Sister! So what! I'm weak!"

A groan was heard and Jack and the others moved away from me as a Rumbler walked around the corner, his porthole showing a flicker of green before going back to yellow, he hefted his charge higher onto his shoulder as she snored quietly. The Daddy held up two five dollar bills and the transaction was completed…okay, I gave the Daddy a candy for his Little Sister. And to be honest candy down here was really hard to find and I kept it for myself.

Damn it, ya got me, I'm soft on the little ones okay?! Geez, can't stop people from breathing down my neck either. They left and immediately the bile tried to rush out my mouth. There went the rest of my dignity.

Delta stared at me and I swear that I could see his freakin' smirk! Eleanor nodded "That was very kind of you"

I shrugged and tossed my bait back into the water and waited for the next bite, Jack stood behind me as I watched my bobber intently "As you probably know I am now in charge of the protector systems for this city"

"Okay"

"I'd like to stop the city from collapsing into another civil war before we do anything else"

"Good for you"

"I want to find someone who can help us around the city, somebody who's been around a while and knows where things are"

"Try the Bouncer with two drills, he's one of the first Bouncer Models, he's also really smart and from what I've heard he's even been to Andrew's pad…after all the…yeah"

He cleared his throat as I reeled in my latest catch and put in it the tank I had before I faced him "We spoke to him. He recommended you to us"

I guess my blank face wasn't really all that compelling "…You are aware that I haven't left this area since I got my last shot of ADAM, right?"

"But you know all the gossip from the other splicers" he countered.

"But I can't help you beyond telling you what I've overheard" parry.

"But you know what territories are occupied and how to avoid them" counter parry, I opened my mouth but he continued "And I personally can assure you anything you want. All you have to do is help us. At the moment we just need to get back to Point Prometheus." and repost.

"Damn. You got me, stay here for the night and I'll help you get over there, I'd like a chance to deal with a few things before we go…" Jack smiled and nodded before they settled themselves around the room.

I looked at my few items and thought long and hard.

* * *

As they met me outside my room I handed Jack two sheets of wrinkled paper "What are these?"

I hoisted my pack onto my back and checked my tackle before tapping the bottom of the rod against the tile "My contract and my will"

Porter lifted a brow "And why exactly did you make these?"

"Let's face it, I won't do a service for free and I don't think I'll live very long, hell I probably won't even make it all the way to the Point. And if you'll look at paragraph two on my contract I stated that I did make a map, to it and if I should be shot, maimed, sliced, eaten, ect. The map can be found here"

Jack looked over the two pages before nodding "Seems reasonable"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, tightened my bags straps, checked my rod again and said a quick prayer before I quietly stepped out of my home and into the hellish city.

As we walked I was always a bit ahead of the group so I could scout a bit, I knew it was what I needed to do but it scared the hell out of me! every time a turret started shooting I nearly ended up dead! After some point the others started chatting quietly and we came to my least favorite place in Rapture-Sother Sand Casino, a giant temple to hedonism. That wasn't the part that bothered me, oh no, it was the fact that at least three of the biggest baddest Brute spilcers were always in there. Very quietly I managed to get the group around the building, luckily nobody saw us. But like everything else my luck quickly nosedived.

We walked around the corner and came across a group that was walking to the bar, now out of earshot-thank God, it soon turned into a brawl, Porter-the former sigma now donning his gear again as he charged his Ion laser while Delta charged in with his trusty drill, Tenenbaum was a crack shot and between her and the berserker Sister I realized that women scared me more than men. Yeah. But they were getting pushed back by sheer numbers-ya' seen when people go to Sother Sand they go in droves. As the bodies started to pile up and the fighters of the group got distracted I did the only think I could do. I picked up a pipe and whacked one of them in the head. I'll save myself the indignity and just say that I got my scrawny ass handed to me by _one_ guy while three or four of them sat watching laughing their asses off. Well, it didn't take long for them to get killed but by that time I was worse off than that time the Alpha Daddies used me to play dodge ball. And that shit hurt.

It was actually Delta who knelt beside me as I tried to sit up, pain stopped me and the pipe through my left leg also kinda stopped me from doing anything, he gestured to see if I was alright and gave a groan, I tried to give him my best reassuring smile but my reflection wasn't so much a smile as a grimace "I'm okay, j-just help me up and I'll show you guys where we can get a m-minutes peace" by this point the world was drunk and spinning while I stood up straight and leaned against the wall, following through with my contract and trying to get them to the abandoned apartment I had managed to get the code to through a night of drinking, a small bottle of salt water, a lemur picture, a record and half a crossbow bolt…don't ask, just the thought might put me back through the trauma.

It took me three tries to punch in 1111 and at that point I knew I was in trouble, I managed to flop down onto a chair and look the other five over, man now I really feel lame- each of them had like one scratch while here I am giving a thirty year old soccer ball a run for it's money in the beatings department. I looked on the floor and realized I left a pretty trail behind me…it's a rather thick trail…ooooh, feeling dizzy….

I guess I passed out because the doc was wrapping my leg talking to Jack in German for a moment before I groaned as the light hurt my eyes, she looked up and me "T-thanks doc" she nodded curtly before standing.

Delta helped me to my feet as the doctor made me a splint and warning me "If I have to do more work because you cannot listen to me I'll chop off what makes you a man. Understand?"

"Y-yes doctor" moving my leg and wheezing a bit I stood "I don't think I'll be doing that anymore…dang, who knew a blunt pipe could do that much damage!" everyone else raised their hands…wow, thanks guys. I can feel the love.

I stepped out…and promptly scrambled back in and shut the door as quietly-but as quickly as I could. Jack crouched beside me "What is it?"

"A-alpha Si-Sister" I managed to spit out. Jack laughed before walking out. My reaction wasn't totally because I forgot that Jack was the master of the Protector system, partially but not completely. When Sofia Lamb was on her big "The Family is the Truth" thing I accidentally got caught by an Alpha Big Sister. That was worse than the pipe through my leg. That was also before my last shot of ADAM and I really do think that without that dose I would have died, that's why I didn't get muscle added on or anything, it was too busy trying to fix up my insides.

Jack walked in with the Sister in tow and I slunk out the door and waited for Jack to step out, I tugged at his sleeve "Mr. J-Jack, c-can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course, my highly twitch friend!" now I know why the phrase 'would you kindly shut up?' was so popular, this guys mouth was like a freaking nuclear bomb of pain.

"Mr. J-Jack, 'M b-being serious here! T-Tell her not to hurt me!"

"Why? She didn't hurt you a second ago"

"A-Alpha's d-don't like m-me!"

Like a parent entertaining a child he sighed "Alright, if it will make you feel better." he got the new sister to step out. If she wasn't in a suite she probably would have been quite the looker…and if I wasn't scared shitless I may have appreciated the view. Her suite was like Eleanor's only black with a silver stripe running down each side, her cage was decorated with a few ribbons that trailed behind her gracefully and her weapon was a shining silver harpoon, I couldn't help but notice that her helmet was a darker silver to match the rest of her gear and shining a…bright…red...

Crap.

It took Delta, Porter and Eleanor to hold her back while Jack ordered her not to kill me. I used my one and only talent other than fishing at this point. Hiding, apparently I wasn't that good at it since Delta janked me out of my hiding place less than thirty-six hours ago, but it's the only thing I could do.

By the time she calmed down it was approaching night and the only Big Sisters not watching over their little counterparts had joined us, five in total and another Alpha. I was thrilled, I hope you can hear the sarcasm. The twelve of us managed to fit in pretty well, Jack and Eleanor shared a sleeping bag since they were engaged, something I questioned while they gave me a look like I should have know, thankfully Delta managed to explain it. Right now I'm loving those sign language classes I took, for such big hands he sure was dexterous! Anyways-getting back on topic, Doc and Porter were another couple so they took another sleeping roll and the sisters just chose a spot and slept, the two Alphas were close by, a bright orange light against the darkness of the room. Delta and I were sitting next to the fire in the corner as we quietly conversed.

I was surprised to learn that Delta was amazingly sharp, and I also found out that he had died-news that never made it back down here, but the Doc and the former Sigma built a copy of the Thinker and the Vita-chambers, Eleanor just popped her needle in and _POOF_ Delta's back! Just add water! Hehehe.

Anyways, he looked at me _Tell me about yourself_

"What do ya' wanna know big guy?" this was crazy- the guy jerks me out of my hiding place something like twenty-four hours ago and we're being all buddy-buddy. But he really is a cool guy.

_Start with your past. I was a celebrity then a Daddy, I never knew what 'normal' life was like_ his gigantic air quotes made me chuckle, earning me a dirty look from the two Ladies laying closest to us.

"Ummm, let's see. I was brought down here when I was five to fish, apparently I've got a gift for fishing"

The giant tapped a finger against his knee _what about the fisheries?_

"Meh, not so much a fishery as a fish farm, the fish they get is more bland than what I was catching out of the sea, and I got more variety and they paid me to bring in 'new genetic material' to the farm. Anyways, that was twenty years ago. For the next nine or so things were hunky-dory…then you died and things went to hell, you started the civil war man. And let me just say, if you weren't the target you would have put the war down no problems!" call it hero worship or whatever but Delta was the biggest badass to ever come to Rapture with Jack a close second. "I managed to save my reel and made my life that way until you guys got me here"

He tilted his giant head, the gesture was at once terrifying and innocent _that wasn't much help, tell me about the times you got ADAM_

"You sure you want to know?" he nodded "Aight' aight' you asked. When I turned nine my boss asked me if I wanted a plasmid or a straight shot of ADAM, the worlds greatest Catch-22, too many plasmids and your body breaks down or too much of the straight stuff and you go bonkers. I took the plasmid" he started signing something but I held up a hand "Let me finish this big guy and then you can distract me all you want okay?" the happy-ish feeling I got from him put a smile on my face "The next one I got was quite a bit later, after things got to…this. I was hanging out with my only buddy, a survivor from the original four fishermen. We pulled up some slugs and that was that. He died after that and I took to wandering about for awhile. Then I got my third and final shot…and became aware with my…problem with Alphas. I was walkin' along and an Alpha Sister got ahold of me, I was already beat up somethin' fierce from two Alpha Daddies using me as a ball to play dodge ball-personally, I don't know how I didn't die…anyways, she picks me up and starts slamming me against the wall until I can barely stand, then she throws me down the trash slide of all things! I managed to avoid going to the incinerator but I was bleeding and all messed up in my insides…the closest exit I got to was a lab where a bottle with the straight stuff was sitting on the counter. I drank it 'cause I remembered the doc's notes about the guy with no fingers and how he grew 'em back…it did manage to heal me up. Since then I haven't left my little room"

Delta nodded and asked his questions_ Okay, what plasmid do you have and why do you think I haven't tried to hurt you?_ I may have been offended if he wasn't asking out of pure curiosity- he was so innocent it reminded me of a child. And I can't help but bend with kids…

I thought for a long time "I don't really recall…it's been so long since I've had the Eve to fire up the plasmid" I shrugged "as for why you haven't tried to kill me…I guess it's cause you're Delta before you're an alpha, the first of the true protectors and the best of them"

He rustled through his pack before handing me a blue needle. I stared at it before sighing and shuddering as the rusty needle slid through my flesh, an unpleasant vibration pulsed through my body and I jerked my chin to the door and he nodded as we slipped into the hall. I really didn't want to do this. I'd be tampering with what screwed up this city in the first place, I guess it showed on my face as Delta patted my shoulder and gave me a thumbs up. God, here goes nothing…I held out my arm and turned my face the other way as I felt the cold blue gel work its way to my palm where it gathered and-well, would ya' look at that?

A good ten feet in front of my hand was a floating ball of soft blue light, seeming to follow my thoughts the orb rose and fell-damn this is cool! It swirled and danced and Delta chuckled under his mask and I couldn't help but join in. Leave it to me to have the single most battle useless plasmid in this hellhole. We walked back in and I locked the door before going to sleep-for the first time in a very long time a smile was on my ugly mug as I drifted off to dreams of being warm…

* * *

next morning I was the first up and stoked the fire back to a decent size before opening my pack and taking out a bit of salted fish before roasting it slowly over the warmth of the fire. You may be wondering why I like fire so much-I'm not actually a pyro…or at least from the fire standpoint. I like fire so much because it's warm, one thing you learn the value of is warmth, the last time I was truly warm was a blurred memory of standing in a field as the sun caressed my face. God, I wish I could be there again. The others started to wake and I was greeted by Jack yawning and sitting next to me "M-morning Mr. Jack"

"Morning…" he scratched the back of his head and pulled on his suite jacket before pulling out one of the two pieces of paper I had given him "I had a few questions for you…"

"Go ahead" I said as I handed him a roasted fish which he took eagerly.

"Your will…it says that…well, I'm just surprised you have one"

"Well, I need one. The Vita-chambers aren't going to allow me to respawn like a book character!"

He nodded "So then you have to be super careful about what you do"

"I do have one thing going for me" he looked at me slightly surprised and I told him about mine and Delta's experiment and levitated my light, making it weaker as to not wake those still sleeping.

He 'hmmed' for a moment before speaking to the now waking Titan, Delta spoke to his Little Sister and Jack came back to me "Delta and I are going to let you access our Gene Banks to get a few tonics-we agree that you probably shouldn't use combat tonics…" he tried to suppress the smile-probably the memory of me getting my ass kicked yesterday. But I followed the duo to the wall of needles and contented myself with a shudder as they came up with a list and showed it to me.

From Jack's side I was looking at both Wrench Lurkers, Drill Lurker from Delta, different types of Natural Camouflage from both of them and Fast Feet from a glitch in this particular machine from the last user. As the cuff wrapped around my bicep I saw the horde of needles crawl out on mechanical arms and slide into the holes of the cuff and pump me full of the genetic fluid. I didn't writhe or scream as the changes over took my body. And for that I was rather proud of myself.

When we got back the others were ready to go and my body ached intensely and I slowly shuffled out to the Far Tube- the nickname of one of the few service elevators that ran to the top of the apartments, as it's name suggests it was the one set farthest from where people usually wanted to go, as we stepped inside the tube the gears started to turn and we found ourselves lifted into the air. I stood at the front and tried to relax, a gasp caught my attention and I turned around slowly and everyone looked surprised "W-what's wrong g-guys?"

Jack chuckled "We just didn't expect you to blend in…quite so well…"

I laughed and patted him on the shoulder, he jumped and suddenly the pressure in the elevator shot up, the doctor gasped "Dis is unprecedented!"

By now I really didn't know what was going on "U-uh, g-g-guys…w-why are you staring at me like that…"

Tenenbaum looked at me like a guinea pig "Da ton-ik ist acting like a plasmid!"

I blinked as the meaning sunk in, the doors opened and I turned, I guess I deactivated the new plasmid because Delta put a hand on my shoulder as I stared in wonder. Hephaestus. I couldn't believe it. Blessed warmth.

Slowly I walked towards the edge and the other eleven just watched me, I couldn't speak. I spread my arms as the heat seemed to burn my skin. I danced around as the heat transformed into joy, "I'm warm! Heat! Bless it! Yes, finally I'm not cold!" the others laughed-later I would consider this crazy- but I kissed the first Alpha sister on the visor and I danced back to the edge of the railing and stood on the bottom rung as I laughed.

We decided to settle down where we were-it was a small section that was really secluded, I fell asleep right against the barriers. I so love the glorious heat, but as I laid there I realized that maybe this wouldn't be so bad. To be honest until this moment I really thought I would die and they would just go on and that would be that. I didn't want to die but I do realize that it is a part of living. If I live I die and if I die I live. It's how the world is. But here, lying next to the thin iron railing I thought to myself 'maybe I will live through this, huh, that'd be cool'

But I didn't notice the yellow gaze of the Sister I kissed…

* * *

**Let it be known that I do not own Bioshock nor anything but the Fisherman…who happens to be more like me than I'd like to admit.**

**I know I should be working on…well any one of the dozen stories I still have but let's call this my spring break present to you, actually right now it is 11:57 PM and at 5:30 I'm heading to Houston and I'll get back after 7 on Thursday and even then I don't know how long it will be before I'm able to work on/post my stores. And if your reading this-THANK YOU!**


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